Egyptians are well known of how they are pretty creative when it comes to sarcasm. Our revolution was unique as you can find violence, music, dancing, creativity and above all jokes.
You all have witnessed how we came up with such hilarious hashtags on twitter such as #WhyMubarakIsLate & #Erga3 etc.. to get the irony of some political situations off our chests.
Today, Menna Alaa the writer of “It’s Trending in #Egypt” articles on Bikya Masr started a hashtag called #EgyPolitics101 so I thought of collecting the tweets so we can laugh at them again later when we get Egypt the democracy and freedom it deserves.
#EgyPolitics101 : As long as the people eat and sleep, they’re happy #EgyPolitics101 :The older you are, the more experienced you are in the political field. Eh, habibi? #EgyPolitics101 :When in doubt, blame it on the people around you and say: ”They never showed me the whole truth”. #EgyPolitics101 : I swear I support the Youth, but screw them if you are giving them my seat. #EgyPolitics101 : We, of course, welcome youth* and their new ideas. *50-60 year old people #EgyPolitics101: Deny you did anything wrong, even when they show you unquestionable evidence,deny it till they give up. #EgyPolitics101 as long as i have a beard i can be a good candidate #EgyPolitics101: Denial is actually a really long river in Egypt. Nile is its nickname. #EgyPolitics101 :We haven’t had a war in 30+ years. Democracy who? #Egypolitics101: The leader is always a paternal figure, he makes one mistake after the other we say it is OK he is like our father #EgyPolitics101: You eat. You sleep. You breathe. Be thankful and never ask for privileges. #EgyPolitics101 : Freedom of speech is granted, but don’t criticize me, the president, the government, and the country. #EgyPolitics101 :We support the Youth in citing their demands, but how dare they question our authority? #Egypolitics101: Get footage of yourself walking around observing factories and hospitals and nod- it shows you care. #egypolitics101 divide and conquer #egypolitics101 use Egyptian drama as a weapon when times get rough. Example:spread rumors, exaggerate facts, and cause panic “masr khirbit” #EgyPolitics101: If you disagree with anything SCAF, the Police, the President, or any other authority figure says, Egypt will fall in Chaos #EgyPolitics101 : Wallahi the Palestinians are dear friends, but we will still export gas to Israel. #EgyPolitics101 : We have brainwashed the people into thinking the economy will fall even though they never benefited from the economy #Egypolitics101: Find out the people’s demands then go ahead and do the complete opposite. #EgyPolitics101 : America hates us and wants harm. Israel hates us and wants harm. The world hates us and wants harm #EgyPolitics101 : We have all the right to use brutality if the US does the same with their protesters. Look at them. #Egypolitics101: Our idea of economic advancement is how many more people installed Air conditions in their homes. #EgyPolitics101 : It’s totally fine to put the aid we get from the US in our pockets, you traitors calling for democracy! #Egypolitics101 when strategy fails, bring up Israel, Palestine & Jerusalem, sheep will follow no questions asked. then do nothing #Egypolitics101: Should the people start demanding that you leave make a few speeches- a few kind words might change their minds #EgyPolitics101: work. obey. don’t question us. But rest assured, you are free. Repeat, bastard, repeat: you are free. Repeat. #EgyPolitics101 : Do you know who I am? Do you know who are you talking to? #EgyPolitics101 :Of course I believe in revolutions and Arab Spring. Sidetalk: It’s a foreign conspiracy. #EgyPolitics101 : See that chair up there in the parliament? Watch me win it and then do fuck all. #EgyPolitics101 : He went to the US earlier which only means one thing: He’s…a…spy. #egypolitics101: If His Advertisements Is Flooding The Streets Then He Is A Good Candidate #EgyPolitics101 : Anyone with a foreign passport is a spy until proven otherwise*. *He’s a spy #EgyPolitics101 : I will tell you that the people are always free to demand for their right, unless it harms me. #EgyPolitics101 Egyptians are not ready for democracy, yet I will go use democracy in my slogan. #EgyPolitics101 : Unless you are 60+ years old, you don’t have the right to talk about Politics or what we should do next. #EgyPolitics101 : I was the first believer in the revolution*. *Not really, I waited to see if it will succeed and then decide. #EgyPolitics101 : I will play on people’s emotions and use religion. Yes, religion will help me win this game #EgyPolitics101 :Just so you don’t see our failures and criticize us, we developed the ”foreign conspiracy” inside of you
That was one out of a lot of hashtags and jokes that is a part of our revolution and I would like to add some jokes we made up during the past week as well.
There was a huge campaign before the revolution for Cocacola Zero and all the series of advertisements had to start with “What does CocaCola zero mean?” then followed by something unbelievable to we made up tons of jokes accordingly such as:
What does CocaCola zero mean? Americans are protesting against capitalism while Egyptians in Dameitta are protesting for environmental causes (Believe it or not, it is true!)
What does CocaCola zero mean? The MB are protesting at ElAzhar while ElAzhar’s sheikhs are protesting in Tahrir (It happened today)
The SCAF gave Elganzoury – The new PM- absolute powers .. which means that he will be able to change the time back to summer time.
Although revolutionaries always face horrible violent depressing situations, our revolution will still embrace jokes, music and creativity!